I really have a hard time with making decisions.  It seems that every time I make a decision, I always wish I chose the other.  It’s a fact of life, I suppose – the grass is always greener and such.

I’m not sure where to go with my career now.  What do you think?

Option 1:  A stable though slightly unfulfilling career in admin work that I’ve done before.  The pay is decent though not exorbitant, the benefits are marvelous, and the job is steady.  Upward mobility wouldn’t exist except for changing companies when I garnered enough experience, though the option to possibly take on more tasks would be there.  I wouldn’t need to buy a new car.

Option 2:  A brand new career, in an industry I love.  The base pay is small but commissions could possibly double what I make in option 1.  The hours are long, the position unsteady, the benefits are good but not as great .  I don’t have experience doing this before, so I could either fail miserably or succeed fantastically and make 6 figures.  I could climb the corporate ladder if I do well enough.  I would need to buy a new car.

What would you do?  Anyone want to give me your anonymous opinion?

I’m bombing y’all.  The job that I interviewed for – that the recruiter wanted to get me in to meet with the company immediately – was filled before I could meet with them.  My phone interview was a failure – like the two previous phone interviews before.

I have another recruiter interview, as well as a preliminary interview for a great position next week…how do I make sure I don’t bomb these too?

More importantly, why the hell am I bombing so many job interviews?

I’d love to say it’s because I was pregnant, but that doesn’t explain why I keep bombing phone interviews.  I’d love to say it’s because of the economy, but that’s just a copout.  I’d love to say it’s because I’m out of practice, but I’ve had 6 months to get into practice.  So what is it?

My husband says it’s because I’m not a specialist – because I’m putting myself out there for positions with many, many other applicants, without highlighting in my resume or cover letter why I’m the absolute best candidate.  To be fair, the one time I did write a detailed and wonderful cover letter for a specific position, I did get a phone interview. Unfortunately, since I never heard back from them, I apparently bombed it.

But when you’re in career/life crisis, how do you know what the perfect job is?

It’s easy for him, because he’s one of a dozen people with his accreditations in the area.  It’s also easy for him because he knows the industry he wants to go into.  Me, I could go into any industry.  I could do anything.  I am unspecific, un-super qualified for anything specific, and unsure of what path to focus on.

I failed my PHR exam by 15 points.  15!  My score was 485 and 500 was passing!  If I had passed, I would have had a great boon to my resume for HR positions.  Since I didn’t, I’m questioning whether I even like that field.

Are all 30-year old former cocktail servers so wishy-washy?  Or is it just me?

I remember reading somewhere (and I think it was fiction) about someone who kept winning the lottery by simple visualization.  By purely believing that he was going to win (smaller jackpots, of course) he could pre-spend the money in his head and poof!  Lo and behold he’d win.

Well, regardless of whether or not that was fact or fiction, I’m going to go into my preliminary interview next week with the firm belief that I will get the job.  I will be the perfect candidate, and will get the position no matter what.

And on that note, I’m off to do a budget based on what I’ll be making in the future.

***DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS FOR A CYNIC TO DO THIS TYPE OF VISUALIZATION?  AHHH!***

What is your best job hunting tip?  And have you had any luck purely visualizing prosperity and making it – poof! – come true?

We have been recipients of such incredible goodwill lately.  For all the rough times, only a few days really stand out as feeling like insurmountable holes of despair (sobbing relentlessly as my toddler kicks me and screams that he’s naughty, while the newborn cries hysterically, while my husband has to rush off to work…that was a baaad day…).  Even when my dad cut my salary in half because he wanted to teach me a life lesson, even when my mom’s habit of making her personal problems my fault caused me panic attacks, even when some asshole stole our stroller…I’ve mostly felt the wall that is my husband stand behind me, and the love of my little family to make us all survive our mini-crises.

Maybe that’s why the ridiculous random acts of kindness really have stood out to me – because I really don’t feel like we deserve them.  There are always people who are in need more than us, so the fact that strangers have treated us so kindly makes me humble.

That’s why one day, when we have the money to do so, we’ll pay it forward.

One day we’ll give something incredibly expensive to almost-strangers like our neighbors did for us.

Our son was playing with the neighborhood kids one day, and my husband was chatting with the father of them.  The father took my husband to their garage, where he gave our son a small tricycle that his kids had outgrown.  My husband thanked him.  Then the father asked if we had a stroller for the new baby, and my husband said no, not yet.  The father then gave us two Jeep jogging strollers that his kids had outgrown.  He and his wife refused our offer to pay for them, and finally accepted a bottle of wine as thanks.  To say that these people are kind is an understatement.  They gifted us – without hesitation – more than $600 worth of things for our kids.  We were overwhelmed, to be sure.

One day we’ll pay for a meal for strangers in a restaurant.

I wanted to eat dinner at a favorite restaurant today.  We are moving out of the area and it was my last chance to eat there for awhile.  We planned the meal out with a small budget in mind (utilizing a BOGO deal), put the kids in the car, and headed down.  We were definitely the only people there with a toddler and a newborn, and we went early to not disturb the other patrons.  After we ordered our meals, our waitress came by with $25 in cash.  There was, she said, a gentleman who had just left who had an extra $25 on a gift card that he used to pay for his meal.  He wanted “to bless the little family with the two babies” with the extra money.  I asked if he was still there, and she said he had already left.  I had heard of people doing that for others, but have never had that happen for me before.  It was an incredibly sweet gesture.  As we left, my husband and I agreed that one day we’d love to do the same.

We joked with the waitress that people usually looked at families in restaurants as pariahs…joking that people would pay $25 for us to leave!

Paying it forward…

Such random acts of kindness, and I don’t feel like we deserve it.

Have there been random acts of kindness you’ve experienced that you want to “pay forward” in the future?