Category Archives: changes

from Hawaii to Seattle

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I began this blog to help me remember to appreciate living in Hawaii.  It was so hard to work, not make a lot of money, and try to raise a family in paradise…all the while remembering why paradise was paradise.  The blog was originally intended to chronicle the wonderful things that we could do in Hawaii…but unfortunately for us reality persisted in rearing its ugly head.  We found we couldn’t live in a state that has lower wages and a higher cost of living with children.  I think Sam from Financial Samurai asked a good question when he asked if the top 1% was better at raising kids than the 99%  - and in my husband and my’s view, it’s not that the 1% is better, but that we didn’t want to struggle and compromise our dreams just to live by a beautiful beach.  I guess basically, we moved away from a place where we would always fall into the lower class bracket to a place where we could raise our kids middle class.  It was mainly a choice for the boys, for their education and the opportunities that they would have on the mainland rather than Hawaii.

It took a lot of crying though…

It was hard the last few weeks.  I had a few days of full-blown crying because I had had a dream for our children to live in a place where they could run to the beach and into the waves as often as they wished.  My aunt told me that it was a good thing we moved back, because if we hadn’t we would have always wondered if we were making a mistake not leaving Seattle in the first place.  Sadly, and I guess this was an important factor too, the only thing I miss is the beach.  I don’t miss the job that I hated there, I didn’t have many friends, and I definitely didn’t miss my family.  I asked my husband what our boys would do without the beach, and he said “live like 99% of the rest of the kids in the country”.

So I guess in some way, we were the 1% for a little while…

We spoke to some friends we had before we left, friends who are in the same situation we are:  2 boys, better job opportunities on the mainland, the wife born and raised in Hawaii.  They plan on moving out of state as soon as she complete her nursing degree – for the same reason as us.  Neither them nor us can fathom paying $45,000 a year for private school for two kids (after taxes, so pretty much a $60K salary wiped out), live in a small rental that our parents own, not save for retirement or our kids college tuition, just to be near the beach.  As the other wife said, “I don’t go to the beach enough to make it worth it.”  I hear you sister.

I find myself constantly justifying our decision, and I realize it’s because I think I failed.

I had a dream when I was younger, to the point that my husband knew when he first started dating me almost 11 years ago that moving to Hawaii was the end-game.  Basically for 11 years I had an end-game – and my end-game was a big fat flop.  I feel like I let my family down by dragging them 2,000 miles away, only to have us move back three years later.

Who cares if I failed though?  Does my family?

And that’s a big no.  My son doesn’t care (yet).  My unborn son doesn’t care (yet).  My husband doesn’t think I failed, he thinks my parents failed us.  My cat doesn’t think I failed (she’s just pissed she had to go in an airplane twice).  So I guess the only person who thinks I failed is myself.  Maybe I have some friends who think I failed too, but no one’s said anything about it yet.  So it’s still just me who thinks I’m a big fat failure.

Do you think I’ve failed?

Oh, you want to read about more interesting things?  I don’t blame you.  How about how you use WIC checks?  I got you covered on that tomorrow…seriously.  Ever stumble around a grocery store with checks in hand trying to figure out exactly where the 46oz juice in a can that matches the brand listed in the WIC book is…it’s an experience to be sure.  A PF blogger on welfare.  That’s where I’m at now, and it’s an interesting place to be.

the cost of moving across the ocean

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When I lived in Seattle, we would move every few years or so, sometimes more often than that.  It was a cheap – albeit incredibly annoying – process, costing maybe a couple hundred dollars for a rental truck, gas, insurance, etc, and maybe $50 for pizza and beer for the people who helped us.

Needless to say, it is holy-freaking-expensive to move stuff from an island to an actual continent.

We’ve tried to pare down our stuff, but still have a whopping 4,300 (estimated) pounds of stuff to move.  One sofa, one king sized bed, one full sized bed.  A crib, our son’s toys, one recliner.  Three wine fridges and the bottles that went into them (approx 150 bottles).  It’s insane.  We thought about not bringing the beds, but given that it will cost $400 to move them or $1500-2000 to replace them…it makes more fiscal sense to bring them with us.  Same with the $1600 couch that will cost $250 to move (inherited from sibling).

The estimated cost to move this stuff?

$5,000.

Hefty price, eh?  It includes packing all our stuff, moving it across the ocean, delivery to our house and unpacking.  Still, it’s insanely more expensive than just moving across town – or even driving from one state to another.

Then, of course, there’s the cost to ship the car.  Ordinarily this wouldn’t cost anything, if we were able to drive to our new home.  But we can’t drive, and therefore have to ship our car on a container ship.  Cost?

$1072

Yikes!  Quite a bit more than just stuffing your car full of stuff and driving to a new apartment!

Then, of course, there’s airfare for 3 plus cat.  We are traveling two months shy of when our son turns two, so we are avoiding buying another seat for him.  Just as well, because the cat costs as much as a ticket.  Cost?

$542 plus $250 for the cat

Did anyone add that up yet, because I’m scared to.  Okay, fine.

Grand Total:  $6,864

Minus $430 that we have so far from stuff we’ve sold.  As soon as the movers take all the stuff we’re moving, we’re having a firesale for everything else.  Hopefully we can get another $100 for everything else…

If I recall, the last time we moved from an apartment to our house in Seattle it cost us maybe $300 tops.  This is a far cry from that.  Ouch!

What’s the most you’ve ever spent on moving?

simple island living

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It’s what we’re doing now, simple island living.  It’s a shame that moving from a place makes you appreciate it.

We’re living a life of vacation now – hitting the beach as often as possible, sometimes twice a day.  Our son is enjoying the endless days of playing in the sand, dumping shovelfuls of sand into the ocean back and forth, back and forth.  My husband and I are lazily playing catch in the surf, in the giant pool that is our favorite swimming hole (if you’re ever on Oahu let me know and I’ll let you in on the secret).  He’s on a limited work schedule now, so we really feel vacation-y.

Things I haven’t been doing:

  1. blogging, because I suck right now.
  2. studying, because I suck right now.
  3. packing, because I suck right now.

Things I have been doing:

  1. sleeping, because I’m hella pregnant.
  2. thinking, because all I really do is think.
  3. going to a therapist, because I needed to
  4. accepting that this isn’t my home anymore.

We spent Easter morning at the Zoo Easter egg hunt.  I had gone ahead of my husband and son to scope out where we were supposed to be headed, and when I went back to them my husband told me that a couple of women had commented on my son.

“They said, oh look at how cute he is,” said my husband.

“That’s nice”, I said.

“Then they said, ‘he’s a REAL tourist’ and walked away”, said my husband.

“Eh?”, I said.

“It occurs to me, again, that no matter how long I live here, no matter how many years, I will still never be local to people here,” said my husband.

“That’s why we’re leaving,” I told him.

I can’t have my family live in a place that won’t make him feel welcome, just like he would never make me move somewhere that I didn’t feel comfortable.  Hawaii had always been my home, but living here the last three years made me realize that the place I grew up in wasn’t the same place I lived in now.  Reality is a harsh mistress.  Life isn’t a vacation, and it’s time to find a new home.

But for right now we’re hitting up the happy hours we loved, the restaurants we enjoy, and the beach that will sorely be missed.  I will miss the beach, more than anything.  But you know what I realized today?  I’ve never gone tubing in the snow.  I can’t wait to do that.

when to call it quits on stuff

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When you’re in the middle of possible flux like we are right now, you start to look around at the “stuff” you’ve accumulated.  And then you’ll wonder…where the heck did it all come from?

Somehow we went from a small 2 bed/1 bath townhouse (about 1000 sq ft) to a 3bed/2 bath house with 1500 sq ft.  I don’t remember adding much to our collection when we moved in…but somehow our house is crammed full.  I do remember moving in and having stuff already here – a couch, loveseat, and dining table that my aunt wanted to give us, more couches inherited from my sister, a few chairs and a bed inherited from my parents.  Boom!  Stuff!

Now that we’re very highly considering a change of locale (99% sure), we have to consider what to give away/sell/give back.  What would you take across the ocean?

-Sofa.  A leather Natuzzi sofa and ottoman inherited from my brother.  Oy, I just looked it up and it appears that it’s worth about $1600 for the sofa and $350 for the ottoman.  Wow!  Score, guess we’re keeping that one.

-Leather Recliner.  Inherited from my father, about 6 months after he bought it.  Didn’t like it, bought it for $1500.  Keeping that too.

-42′ flat screen that is about 5 years old, bought from Costco, Vizio.  It’s sort of sad because sometimes when the TV is turned on only the sound comes on, but in general it’s still usable and works with HD.  Keep!

-32′ flat screen, Vizio.  It’s small and compact, so we can bring that too.

-3 wine fridges and the wine inside.  That’s a no brainer, as they are my husband’s pride and joy.  One day, when we have money, we’ll buy a large wine fridge and consolidate them all.

-The beer/candy mini-fridge.  Lol.  Go.

-Target brand coffee table and side tables.  My husband likes them, I think we can do without.  They’ve got slate on the top and the legs can be screwed off and everything can be flat.  Stay or go?

-King sized bed – 10 years old.  This is a conflict – do we buy a new one or take this one with us?  Stay or go?

-Same with a full sized bed – it’s 14 years old but has almost never been used.  I used it for 2 years before I went to college, then it sat in my parent’s house until it got moved to ours.  Intermittent guests have slept in it, but that’s it.  Pretty much brand new – but old.  Our son will need a toddler bed soon – do we lug it across the ocean with us?  Stay or go?

And…that’s it.  That’s all the stuff we’d bring except for our clothes, our son’s crib and toys, books, pots, etc.

For our stay or go stuff – friends…what would you do?  What do you toss when you move?

And more importantly, will you all still like me when I’m not living on an island in the middle of the ocean?

um hi. i suck at giving.

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A few days ago a reader complimented me on giving to the homeless while unemployed.  He called me “humble”.  I was, well, humbled.  I felt like a fraud…because I’m one of those terrible people that just. doesn’t. give.  In short, I suck.  

The other day Ninja at Punch Debt in the Face wrote about Obama/Romney and their respective charitable donation histories. Let’s just say they donate a lot.  Romney, as Ninja pointed out, is Mormon and is therefore expected to donate a substantial portion of his income, as a general expectation of that specific religion.  Ninja himself includes how much he and Girl Ninja tithe, and no kidding, I never even knew what that was until I started reading his blog.

So then Ninja wrote, “Obama’s tax returns tell a different story. In 2009 and 2010, the Obamas donated about 14% of their income to charity. Not too shabby. But if you look at his tax returns prior to becoming El Presidente (2000 to 2008) he never gave more than 6.5% to charity, and two of those years he gave less than 1% of his earnings away.Makes you wonder if he is giving more now because he knows he will get hell if he doesn’t. The Biden’s have never even pretended to be charitable givers, only donating around 1% of their income each year.”

I was shocked that Obama giving 1% of his income to charity was a negative.  I am of the belief that all charitable donations are a great thing, no matter how big or little.  I was a little weirded out at the negative tone Ninja took toward Obama…and the Bidens…but then…I realized why.

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